The Life Changing Art of Trust and Handing Things Over

I’m curious, how well do you trust yourself? How well do you trust that things have a way of working themselves out – sometimes, even better than they might if you controlled every variable? Or do you doubt yourself and the world, a feel betrayed or let down by it? Or ARE YOU TRUST personified?

Reason I’m asking this, is that my own relationship with trusting myself has significantly transformed since my early thirties, and I’ve witnessed over and over, during my work in the past 14 years, that the people who seem to be the least stressed, the happiest and most agile at navigating the ups and downs of life, are those who demonstrate a high level of trust in themselves and that they are connected to something bigger than them.

Conversely, those who seem to have the hardest time, are the most stressed, worried or anxious, seem to be those who don't seem to share this trust. They tend to have a high level of insecure thoughts and can be strongly attached to very specific outcomes. It looks to them that no one or no ‘thing’ is on their side, and they are hell bent at controlling outcomes or focused on avoiding feeling insecure or vulnerable at all costs, with little wiggle room for elements of surprise - whether troublesome one, or a fortuitous one that simply required some breathing space in order to appear.

I watched a great Netflix series recently about the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Once I got over how little they get paid and how much is expected of them (check it out, it’s shocking), I became totally fascinated by these amazing women with their white perma-smiles, luxurious locks and a strength and agility to match Olympians. The epitome of the American dream - hard working, positive thinking young women who’d dreamed of being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader since they were little, yet, who also humbly and respectfully stated that they would become a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader ‘only if it’s within God’s plan for me to be so’.

Watching it I could FEEL their trust in something greater than them. For a moment (as a non-religious person), I felt a pang of envy for this deep trust, in this God – it just seemed so soothing, and relaxing. Maybe I was missing out on something? Should I go to church?!

But then I remembered all the many times that I have surrendered my problems to the ‘universe’ and simply followed the signs and whispers I was given as navigation points. The intuitive hits, the person who showed up just at the right time, the parking ticket someone left in the machine, being in the right place at the right time, someone coming into my thoughts and then calling them. That’s my ‘god’. Whenever I’ve handed things over to this invisible energy, things seem to happen in a perfect (sometimes ever so slightly crazy/annoying/unexpected) way. It’s even how I met my husband, via the magic of a well timed yellow post-it note (that's a story for another time).

But I forget to do this – I forget to trust, and I can get overly-caught up in life and work, and trying to control things, because I forget who I really am and what I’m capable of – what we are ALL capable of, that we are:

· Naturally resourceful, creative and whole – it’s how we are built for life on earth

· That we all have access to wisdom

· That wisdom can do the heavy lifting in life and is on our side

· That we’re built to navigate life in the present moment (not the future or past)

· That in order for wisdom to show up, it works to have a relaxed state of mind (which isn’t always easy, I know - more on that later).

My timely reminder from the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders is to do my part of the action, pay attention to the signals, adjust accordingly and hand over the rest to wisdom or whatever invisible intelligence is really running the show – it totally has my back and has never let me down.

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